SCL Weekly Wellbeing: How Can You Encourage Someone To Be More Present?

Created for SCL by Nick Watson and Gary Waters

Last week we took part in SCL's Tea and Tech session around Wellbeing. The feedback has been overwhelmingly humbling and we hope to run one again in the future. There were questions being asked, and one great question in particular was "How can I get someone to be more present in the workplace?" - this was a great question, and one we felt we couldn't give more time or thought to due to the session ending shortly after.

For our response, we need to address this on two levels, a personal level of understanding and behavioural. Once you can understand and become aware of subtle, subconscious reactions that are happening you can adapt your behaviour through awareness to invite someone to being more present in the workplace.

Simply telling people they shouldn't be the way they are usually results in a negative response. Not just in the workplace, but personal relationships as well. If it doesn't provoke a strong reaction, the person may provide the illusion of compliance whilst suppressing the message.

Pretty much every person has a fear of not being good enough. Even with the best intentions, the moment you suggest they should be different to how they are, their ego interprets what you are saying as "wrong". To the ego, being wrong triggers a much deeper primal fear of not being good enough. If that is the case, then I won’t be loved. This fear is so deeply rooted in our subconscious that we aren’t aware of it. When we are involved in a conversation like this on the surface, we think we just need to be right but what we aren’t aware of is why we have to be right. That need is running in the background on a much deeper level, and as a result we react with resistance to protect ourselves from being viewed as wrong.

It can be a tough pill to swallow but the truth of the matter is you have no right to impose your model of the world on someone else. True leaders and people that are able to help others raise their own level of awareness and lead by example. They do not tell anyone what to do, rather inspire or as Ghandi put it, "be the change that you wish to see in the world". You don't have to be in management to be a leader. Whether in the office, at home or within a friendship group, you inspire change rather than proselytise how you think it should be. Some of the most powerful people move in silence, without the need to use force.

Have you ever felt yourself resisting when someone tries pulling you into their shop or restaurant to buy something, yet opted for the one that looks inviting, with a friendly atmosphere and no intimidation? In much of the same way, when we look within and focus on being a good example of someone present throughout most of the day, we become the invitation for others to do the same.

This is a journey, and not a quick fix. That doesn't mean there aren't things you can do now in order to inspire change within the workplace. Some of the things you can do now include:

  • Encourage the company you work for to run workshops that inspire change, raising levels of awareness around human behaviour, mindfulness, mental health and personal development or to bring on board personal coaching for their employees.
  • Start group activities (you could even do this around mindset growth) and invite people to join, being mindful not to single anyone out. Yoga or other forms of exercise are great.
  • Just ignite a conversation with people, to break up their day. It doesn't have to be anything deep - even a comment on the weather can shift people away from their 'runaway' thoughts.
  • Listen, without intent on responding. Really digest what people are saying.
  • Talk more openly about your own issues.

SCL Weekly Wellbeing is created by Nick Watson and Gary Waters. #SCLweeklywellbeing

Unlike most Legal Technology entrepreneurs, Nick Watson https://www.linkedin.com/in/nickpwatson/ comes from a development background with a history of developing large, bespoke projects for a variety of industries including the Law. Launching in April 2016, Nick co-founded Ruby Datum, a user experience-driven, pioneering Virtual Data Room company. He also has a passion for wellbeing and is working towards a vision of a more mindful legal industry.

Gary Waters https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-waters-742b10148/ is a respected coach and entrepreneur. Gary’s background includes building a #1 ranking hospitality business in one of the UK’s most competitive tourism markets in the South West of England. Gary decided to sell that business so that he could channel all his energy and focus into his passion, which is helping people through coaching. Gary specialises in helping clients develop an Empowered Mindset, which enables them to navigate life’s challenges on their own terms. He’s passionate about helping people create a life of purpose and fulfilment through Personal Coaching, Business Coaching and Consulting programmes.

Also see:
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: https://www.scl.org/blog/10886-scl-weekly-wellbeing
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: The Ultimate Life Hack: https://www.scl.org/blog/10892-scl-weekly-wellbeing-the-ultimate-life-hack
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: The Cold Shower: https://www.scl.org/blog/10901-scl-weekly-wellbeing-the-cold-shower
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: The Ultimate Skill - Where do you spend most of your day? https://www.scl.org/blog/11918-scl-weekly-wellbeing-the-ultimate-skill-where-do-you-spend-most-of-your-day
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: Happiness vs Fulfilment https://www.scl.org/blog/11922-scl-weekly-wellbeing-happiness-vs-fulfilment
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: What Are You Really Chasing? https://www.scl.org/blog/11934-scl-weekly-wellbeing-what-are-you-really-chasing
SCL Weekly Wellbeing: The 21 Day Focus Challenge https://www.scl.org/blog/11941-weekly-wellbeing-the-21-day-focus-challenge

Society for Computers and Law A company limited by guarantee 1133537 Registered Charity No. 266331 VAT Registration No. 115 4840 85 Registered in England and Wales Registered office: Unit 4.5, Paintworks, Arnos Vale, Bristol, BS4 3EH.

Published: 2020-06-19T17:12:27

    Please wait...